Sick and tired of heading back to an empty home.
What has happened to this home?

So, I bought this dirty brown leather journal the other day.
That will prolly contain pretty much alot of my dirty lil secrets in there.
all of my lists and what not i guess!
hehehehehe.
time for doodle!

Really crazy night last night.
Well, there havent been one where it hasnt been crazy.
you name it, it happened!
two big blows in a night.
no worries, im bulletproof (:

Just not meant to be.
Damn damn damn pain inside.

I may not be that kind of girl you see everywhere.
That tall, fair and pretty girl.
The one has a million piercing.
The one that wears sheer tops best.
The one that jumps around w dr marts.
The one with that braces-metal smile.
But I can be,
That little one who makes you feel special.
The one that whispers goodnight to you.
The one that makes breakfast in bed for you.
The one that hugs you whenever she feels scared
The one that gets mad with herself for missing you too much.
The one that wants to get you anything & everything for
The one who text long good morning messages
That is me.
Coz I don't try to be someone else.
I really think its way better to be able to make someone feel something, than to make them just feel something only because they SEE something.
Looks ain't everything in this world yo.

From me, to you. (unsent)
You will never see that I actually exist.

Its been a really really long while since I have updated this space with my real life.
Minus all the emotional blasts that I can shout to no one, except this space.
Work's coming to an end. Oh wow, 4 months is coming to an end.
Come to think of it, I've only got like 1weekplus worth of break after my very intensive studying for the As.
And then i got my ass committed to work.
I feel like extending out of a sudden.
Because there is so much work that I've kickstarted and I dont like to entrust it to someone,
due to the reason that "I have to go."
Prolly just the sense of responsibility that I have cultivated since i was an egg (okay, young i mean)
Well, I've got no choice coz I need to get my ass to studying for the sats.
Which, only 1 university accepts it and LOOKS at it.
Honestly, I hate how I have to find backups just to make sure I get into a decent Uni.
(okay, before i get started on how grades aren't everything, i shld stop)

So, what am I going to do right after I quit?
Mug my ass off for sats, and of course hopefully to plan for a holiday.
Im pretty much a adaptable person, so aesthetics & environment means a lot to me.
And that is why, I need to leave for a holiday.
I need my getaway fix, by hook or by crook.
desperate for the tranquility, sea waves, sun rays, resort furniture, massage and shopping!
Sucker for all of that.

And and and, I really want to get a guitar.
I want to be able to sing along with it, and make myself happy.
I know how girls on the guitar look super hot,
(obviously i wish i can get there)
but no, i am not that sort of girl, with this face of mine.
so its still a sad story.
But at least i can make music with my own hands! (literally)

So, thats all I can afford to hit on these plastic tiles for today.
toodles, and take care folks!

Is this how growing up feels like?
Coz I see less of everyone at home.
Brother have moved out into married life.
Sis is busy climbing up the corporate ladder into the film sector
Mum have slogged enough & is enjoying life with her friends
Dad's happily traveling round the globe with his girlfriend.
Oh well.
If this is what growing up feels like,
I've got to admit this,where I didn't thought I would say.
Growing up sucks.
(ironic when I used to want to grow up so damn badly every now & then)
As the folks often say, being a child is the best time of your life.
Well, now. All of us got to agree with that!
Tata, peace out guys.

so, tell me
how do you tell that someone what happened to you,
when they are the exact one who tore you apart.

why do you steal my hand,
when i'm standing on my own ground,
you build me up and then leave me there.

tell me whats on your mind already.
tell me what do you see me as in your eyes.
tell me what do i mean to you.
this is infuriatingly annoying.
and it is not even funny or sassy anymore.

This. 
The exact words my heart & mind would chant.
" And I hear your words that I made up
You say my name like there could be an us
I best tidy up my head I’m the only one in love
I’m the only one in love

Why do you steal my hand
Whenever I’m standing my own ground
You build me up, then leave me dead "

a whole new meaning to life & death.

I honestly believe,
no matter how high or tipsy a person can get,
they are still in control of their actions.
Whatever excuse about I was drunk,
It's all lies.

Follow @thevquotes on twitter!
great start to have positive tweets to read everyday!
& they make so much sense!!