Ooh.

" i hate _____ " /;

Monday, November 30, 2009

i hate going home. yes hate.

i get scolded for EVERY single thing i do/don't do.

i got scolded for bringing my pills in my bag to eat,

coz she wants me to eat them AT HOME.

i got scolded for calling my brother LOUDER than calling her.

i got scolded for having sore throat

i got scolded for wearing flats

MEGA WTF.

i am seriously tired, and i can't be bothered anymore.

scold for all you want, and i can get hurt for all i want.

you don't even bother for the inside of me.

all you want is your way and your interest.

thank you this wonderful mummy.

{}

phew, the show's finally over.

awesome sales i guess.

it was nice working with all the outgoing people,

coz all the useless vases got sacked immediately on the first day.

just cashed 200bucks into my wallet.

love the feeling of earning my own bucks (:

BUT, back to usual ~~lovely~~ orchard ion again.

have fun with holidays folks! ❤

I swear money doesn't come by easy /;

Saturday, November 28, 2009

why do I always cry during the night. F! /;

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

with ❤, from me to all /;

Monday, November 23, 2009

i hope everyone is good and happy.

and yes, if i could i'll increase the font size of HAPPY to 300.

because i really care for me beloved friends.

for me, my happiness is built on

being tall with my heels (painlessly), shaker fries, baking cupcakes,

buying lingerie, hearing mummy's jokes, doing retarded antics with beloved darlings ❤

its really hard to re-buck up MORE courage to carry on each day.

you try so hard not to think and ignore it,

but at the back of your head, its always there, like permanent.

its no longer a worry/woe/passing dark cloud,

but its something that will probably not change as fast as i want to.

i really hope this feeling, and this problem( or i call it crisis ) will go off.

yes, i don't even know when but hopefully it will go off.

sometimes i feel so helpless, i can just drink Dynamo.

and i am serious.

everything is eating me up. i wished i could shout for help.

i'm working at ____________ /;

i swear work is sucking up all my time and energy.

and do you know that i've not touched my mac for a weeeek!

i really need the power energy anti-fatigue cream for my face now.

i look so haggard when my face's naked. Ugh, i hate this.

but then again, the people at work are really funny. i like!

its like a good-and-bad thing, work's fun but hell tiring.

not like its exhausting but its the routine that's wearing my out.

PS : sorry for not updating this pathetic lil space for so long :/

dearest laurier and ernuf /;

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

i will dance with my dwarf-like body for you

i will bake cupcakes and deliver them to you

i will get another free kfc meal for you

i will buy Prime's Oreo ice blended for you

i will paint your toes and do facial for you

i will install 10 air conditioners in my new house for you

i will invent a fat-free 3 pcs chicken for you

i will carry your laptop with my dwarf body for you

and all of that, provided that you hang in there,

let out a smile, and tell yourself that you are going to stay strong.

i love you, laurier and ernuf till the end of time ❤❤

S.O.S teams are fake /;

Sunday, November 15, 2009

as you lean back, get low and lie down.
the minute your eyelids start to droop,
your heart beats slower,
thoughts starts to flash by faster.
with an uncompleted heart,
and a broken life,
who's to the rescue tonight?

how do you spell it /;

saturday.
gorgeous icecream buffet treat by art teacher.
photos to be expected in next post! (:
then met sheena and calvin for shopping.
they actually bought me plimsolls that i eyed in topshop,
while i was in the toilet!!! i swear i was totally surprised.
they were really sweet in their effort to cheer me up,
coz my days have been really morbid this week, sad to say.

sunday today.
went shopping again, and finally got my black booties for work.
i am a happy girl again, but i wonder how long it'll last.

screw Friday the thirteen /;

Saturday, November 14, 2009

fatigue eats you up /;

Thursday, November 12, 2009

very very redundant total defence filming this morning.

macs for lunch. letter signing at gulab.

towned with jaymee, brought along sheena and calvin for 2012.

2012 made me said fuck 5 times :{

carbs are making me whoozy and sleepy all day.

note to self : you're having too much potato already.

i've made too much indeed /;

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

my whole week's packed, yes.

like really frigging packed.

its either interviews, or heading down to sign letters,

or drama understudy rehearsals, birthday barbecues.

i am so lazy to plug in my camera and let you peek at my organiser.

oh well, i hope i'll be able to catch some rest ~~and not die soon.~~

last night's sleepover nearly killed me, but it was fun, heh.

though the annoying sheena refuse to let me sleep,

and calvin snored like some boar :<

and we had to donate our blanket to him which left us

to one pathetic towel, coz i'm too lazy to get quilts.

why do i feel like as if i just destroyed myself yet again.

hate this feeling that i'm feeling.

can't stop this feeling that i'm feeling too.

nice one.

the joy of that child /;

Sunday, November 08, 2009

church.

bk xxl mushroom swiss lunch.

sentosa.

soaking in the salty sea.

fried fish soup(again!) dinner.

home.

its like i'm back to being a kid.

coz i behaved like a girl today.

and by girl, i meant a small lil preschool girl.

euphoria much today (:

pictures in next post when sheena uploads.

where's the you that we've all been searching /;

Friday, November 06, 2009

i'm hooked to Chantal Kreviazuk's Feels Like Home!
yes, that's the result of too much romance movies.
its really meaningful and sweet (:

Something in your eyes
Makes me want to lose myself
Makes me want to lose myself
In your arms
Something in your voice
Makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling last
The rest of my life

Thursday, November 05, 2009

last day of school tomorrow.
holidays are finally here.
and i hope everyone's happy.

euphoria hits /;

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

i just got home - 2300 (:

its been so long since i hang out properly with my girls!

i ❤ my javs

i ❤ my friends

i ❤ eating fish&chips with my screwed throat

i ❤ laughing with my voice

i am a very very bloated and happy girl tonight!

/ /;

Tuesday, November 03, 2009

Well, i tried, and tried, and tried

so hard to look into people's faces and smile.

But i just can't do it,

this moulded lips refuses to move,

probably coz my brain tells me so.

{\}

Then, she teared today coz she just felt

really really sad.

Nothing more, nothing less,

sad is just enough to express all.

Monday, November 02, 2009

A: " why must you lie? Isn't there trust? "

my dearest A got me thinking, really hard.

Well, you see trust got to be earned for my case.

It didn't come to this bad before, until when i decided to

hang on to a lie for 30 months.

From then, things changed drastically, and i am back to zero.

So i'm earning my credits slowly, day by day,

with every little or big thing that i do or react.

Thus, end of it all, it all boils down to myself.

I made the decision, I lied, I pay the repercussions.

we think too much for ourselves that we forget others.

live life unselfishly, and the world will be a better place.