Ooh.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

can you live without yourself

there's so much things that happened

for the past weeks.

so i'll just let the pictures do the talking (:

21st Dec - candle light christmas service.

the whole hall was beautifully lited!

in my sister's friend's car.

we couldn't find the buckle's lock.

so we held on to our belts,

THROUGHOUT the car ride.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

22nd Dec - Basketball chalet.

i swear its so much bigger than my house.

the 2 guys happily brought 3 bottles of Tiger,

wanted to enjoy in the room,

when he happily jumped onto the bed,

it broke.

HELL FUNNY.

24th Dec - Party @ Vicki's.

I made sushi for the first time! (:

YUMMMY.

and for last night's

Ling and Vicki's birthday family dinner,

brother surprised me with this!

i told him i wanted a new school bag,

but mum refuse to allow me to buy!

i dont know why.

i didn't want to take photo of my bag,

to keep everyone in suspense!

seeee me in school! HAH.

and he bought me a num one! (:

i love love love my brother and his girlfriend

okay, a random picture of me.

in case you forget how i look like.

i can't wait for school, coz

i get to carry my new bag.

HAHAHAHAH

but seriously, i am SO NOT looking forward to schooool.

OOOPS, no more holidays for junxian and adela.

SO SAD.

i'm still enjoying my holidays!

HAHAHAHAH

Thursday, December 25, 2008

i shouldn't be.

busy busy busy.

party pictures to be blogged sooon.

this year's christmas been,

the cutest and funniest one i ever had.

lots of love to all my friends.

have a JOYOUS CHRISTMAS.

i'm so glad to have friends like you.

the wildest thoughts i could ever thought of.

the craziest plans i ever tried to attempt.

yet, i've got no courage.

and i shouldn't do it.

if this is called, i can't get used to without,

tell me what this exactly is.

i shouldn't be feeling this way,

coz you're not feeling the same way.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

with nothing but your t-shirt on

"George Naylor accepted your friend request. 08.47"

i swear i was the happiest girl on earth,

for that 2 seconds after reading that.

HAHAHAHAH.

he is real hot,

and that's his REAL account.

HAHAHA.

not that i will write to him or something, but.

still. hahahah.

happy happpy happpy.

have been very hooked up this week though.

since sunday till now.

been preparing lots for the party.

and of course, i had help from Jaymeeeee &

a bit of help from Adela. HAH.

she just merely sat there and ate sweets.

okayy, but still she's really worn out.

so i forgive you!

NOW, say ily to me ELEVEN times.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.

tomorrow right from morning,

i need to go collect the seafood.

then prepare the desserts,

and buy gifts.

hahahahaha.

SHIT. that reminds me, the gifts!

i haven't completed it.

damn, i'm going off now.

byeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

have fun receiving presents from your loved ones

find out the true meaning of christmas tooo!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

hark the herald angels sing

can you feel that christmas mood already?

hahahahaha.

had mini christmas party at cellgroup today.

fun fun fun.

singing carols, and exchanging presents.

i'm so tired.

helped mum out with the wrapping of presents.

my fingers are so burnt now.

but its really fun though.

i love wrapping presents, and presents as well.TSK.

quite a fruitful day for me today.

went for cellgroup party,

watched movie at home with bro.

wrapped presents with mum a while ago.

and, i finally sorted a bit of thinking

in the midst of reading syl's book.

i shall walk out of this trauma strong!

after watching angus,thongs&perfect snogging,

i'm falling in love with the band, Stiff Dylans.

HAHAHAHAHAH.

but sad enough, Aaron , ain't in the band.

he merely casted in it.

let me show you why i am so enthu about it.

and he's actually 18 this year!

if only ......

HAHAHAHAHAH.

please don't get your eyes fixed here.

coz he's labelled, vicki's.

HAHAH.

his real hot hot hot hot body, is enough to kill.

and his pretty pretty eyes can make you melt.

AHHHHHHHHH.

shit, this is getting so crazyyyy.

because of Aaron, i manage to find,

even more cuter and hoter guy's photos.

like, George Naylor.

his photos are copyright though.

i can't show you here.

but anyway, both are as hot and cute.

UGHHHHHHHH.

why there's no cute abc-s/whites in Singapore!

:((((((

now i'm starting to include these into my birthday wishes.

HAHAHAHAHA.

enough of guy matters,

i'm off to continue working on my gifts.

Friday, December 19, 2008

once we were so strong.

you know when your hearts' tangled up with your mind,

you'll no longer know what and how to,feel and think anymore.

i'm unable to fathom myself already.

i no longer know the real truth that i'm feeling inside.

coz i really don't know what exactly am i feeling.

this is really eating me up,

eating my insides away.

soon, outsides tooo.

i'm so sorry for this emotional post.

but sometimes, too much lone time,

really kills.

just when i thought moving over to sis' room was cool,

it turns out to be a killer, every night.

gosh, i hate the silence at home.

TODAY:

caught agnus,thongs and perfect snogging,

christmas shopping,party shopping,

dinner with fitzzy ditzzy.

had fun laughing with her, as always.

met with hellokitty and xiiiaotong.

though it was really short time,

for a heart-to-heart talk,

it was pretty valuable to me.

coz i know, you guys are the little stars that God sent to me.

thank you adela.

thank you sylvia.

wo ai ni.

you girls mean so much to me, really.

as much as i wanna be a supergirl,

something's stopping me, deep down.

i like to move it, move it,

vicki, MOVE IT.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

BELLS ARE RINGING FOR PARTY TIME.
i'm happily sipping on my

apple carrot orange juice.

hahahahaha.

it states on the net, it'll prevent flu and cough!

i am preparing my body not to be over heated,

by the mega oily and unhealthy foods,

and of course, the alcohols.

in the upcoming parties!

vicki is so smart.

HAH.

off to hit my books

err, for a while,

then the sylvia's book,

then ipod, then sleep.

i'm trying to get out tomorrow if i can.

take care people.

i miss you. you. and you.

i'm hoping 09' to be much better.

how deep is your ocean

my day today was crap though.

or rather wasted, i like.

sank-ed into the couch, and watch xoxo,

for the whole damn day.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

i really want to be special and not say this,

but i really can't take it anymore,

Nate Archibald is total awesome and hot.

except that he slept with almost every other female character,

in the show, of course.

HAHAHAHAHAHA.

3 more episodes, and i'm done with GossipGirl.

WOOOOOOOO.

bball chalet preparation settled.

halfway through party preparation.

going to decor the house a lil tooo!

but my decor ideas are limited.

how how how.

i've been trying to lock my posts,

like the lj style,

but seems like blogger can't.

coz i know, people who are very very very near me,

is reading my blog.

and i refuse to respect that kind of dishonesty.

shit, should i move or change the url instead?

okay, note to self,

vicki needs to study.

like real time, hard core studying.

but then again, i might be heading out tomorrow.

to get whatever gifts i can ever find.

coz since monday, i've haven't gone out.

i'm a poor poor good girl.

i want to show the world,

what i'm really capable of.

HAH.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

tonight, i've fallen and i can't get up

baked today with lis, her cousin and marisa.

awesome funny time.

and the cookies were really tasty.

gossip girl-ed for a few hours

surfed around the net.

facebook-ed.

and home.

at least, i was happy when they were here.

{}

i tried to catch some shut eye early.

but i just couldn't.

as i laid on the bed, and start thinking about

me not being able to get out, when its my holidays.

i just collapsed. with myself.

there's just too much too much things on my head.

too much for me to cry about.

too much for me to fret about.

i try very very hard not to think about my strict mum.

i try very very hard not to get scolded by them,

when i really did nothing wrong, i still got scolded.

mother. is really stressing me out big time.

sister. is doing the least, but yet she freaks me out.

brother. is giving me alot of pressure on my studies.

dad. just repeats all of the above said.

i really hate it for not being able to go for cellgroup

i really hate for not being able to help in cg.

ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

i am a locked up kid,

when i did nothing wrong.

or maybe, i'm locked just coz i'm 16?

whatever the reasons are, i really can't accept it.

sometimes, too much lone time, ain't healthy.

coz it just magnifies your flaws and your woes too much.

{/}

Sunday, December 14, 2008

SUPERHUMAN.

this is NOT my schoolbag.

for mere photo joy (:

daddy's birthday today.

ate at Irodori at RiverViewHotel.

love the Jap buffet (:

tamago. tamago. tamago!

sunday tomorrow.

i'm going to drop by to visit dannypuff!

i'm so excited for monday!

(: (:

and the christmas party! oh gosh.

hell fun expected.

i am so bored now.

that i feel like having my youtube marathon.

HAHAHA.

and and and.

i am moving to my sis' room to sleep,

for maybe 2 weeks,

we switch rooms!

SO FUN.

i'm going to sleep alone. yay.

i won't get to hear any snors anymore.

i have a secret birthday wish,

that i shouldn't have.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

you'll come running to this corner

have been camwhoring alot these days.

HAHAHAHA.

sorry, i love myself tooo much.

sneaked out today (:

meetup with SARAH darling.

pizza hut-ed with her.

shopped around.

checked out my schoolbag.

bubble tea-ed at my place.

end of meetup.

HAHAHAH

see fb for more photos.

i'm too lazy to blog the photos here.

i did not sleep last night.

i laid on the bed,

and my eyes was wide open for a few hours.

my body refuse to sleep

and my leg was aching like mad.

i only managed to sleep when the sun was out.

damn tired.

vicki is happier.

i am really excited for each and every day.

i don't know why.

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

vicki finally got out today.

checked out bags.

checked out presents to buy.

did my nails :D

vicki is a happy girl.

i can't wait for next monday.

like seriously.

i can't wait to meet Jem for presents exchange.

i can't wait to meet colin for lunch.

i can't wait for christmas shopping.

i can't wait for bball chalet.

i can't wait for christmas party with GIRLS.

today, i am smiling.

i am so happy today.

Tuesday, December 09, 2008

shades of you.

{sorry for the camwhoring,

coz i fell in love with my headband suddenly.}

i need a haircut badly.

coz my hair is finally long enough.

but, i only can have it next week.

hahahahaha.

i am such an irony.

yay. christmas party is finally settled.

so excited and willing to do the planning and buying.

WHEEEEEEE :D

christmas girls' night! (:

photos, costumes, drama, candles, songs and FOOD.

YAY.

i can already hear the laughter of,

adela jaime sylvia estelle aisha fathanah! :D

can you believe it, i haven't gone out for like,

err, 4 days.

those 4 days, are spend at home doing useless chores.

like attempts to study.

like attempt to colour my Right nails.

like attempt to work out, but never.

and for today, i can proudly announced,

i've been a pure girl, HAHA.

coz i was stuck on the taiwan drama, (campus shrewd)

the one with rainieyang and wilberpan.

from 1030am to 7pm.

oh my goshh.

the story is the usual,

how the rich hunk falls in love with a stupid & ugly girl.

HAHAHAH.

but the show is hell funny i tell you.

first show that i haven't cried after 6 episodes.

i feel so stone today,

coz i just sat in my sofa, and watch the show non stop.

hahahaha. finally gave up. and stopped watching (:

i can feel my tv outside burning with heat already.

i want to go to the beach,

though i still have a bit of my phobia for sand.

dearest hair.

my beloved stylist has been yet,

promoted again, from stylist, to creative stylist

and now MANAGER.

and that's supposed to be a good thing.

BUT, he has been transferred to Jurong Point's branch,

to be the Manager there.

oh God. tell me how.

i don't want to go all the way to Jurong to have my haircut.

and i don't want to change my stylist.

and i don't dare to go all the way to JP, to have a haircut.

but i also don't want to get another new stylist,

i'll be damn scared and unsure of their skills.

AHHH. i hate this. i hate this.

UGHHH.

i am so damn sad now.

now seriously.

today was supposedly his last day,

BUT he's OFF today.

AHHHHHHHHHH.

how how how how how.

i am so sad. i am so sad.

my stylist, my hair.

JAY ANG :(

gonecase.

Monday, December 08, 2008

show me the meaning of complete

weird. cranky emotions covered my whole body.

every minute. every second.

spent this cold day alone at home.

it makes my emotions turn cold too.

whirl. whirl. i'm in a whirl.

wanted to knock myself out so badly,

that i popped 5 pills down last night.

hoping that the drowsiness would take effect immediately.

i want to go out for my shopping.

i want to.

can anyone hear me.

Sunday, December 07, 2008

despondent

i feel very locked.

very constrained yet again.

i am not free to do what i want.

i am told to do what i have to.

its a very different thing.

whenever, i'm online till about 10plus,

i will suddenly have a fear, that

what if the door unlocks now,

where are all my books.

i need to pretend that i'm doing research.

when i want to go out,

i have to find a reason,

a very valid reason, like,

i need to get this, get that.

why i lost my will and freedom to choose.

and i lost my say.

i'm at loss.

i'm trying to hide away all these feelings,

but time and time again,

this is the same reason why i can't sleep at night

its the reason why i lose my appetite every time.

is this the life you want me to lead.

with you being happy, and me unhappy.

its not the two way, both sides feeling happy thing.

its a damn it one way.

i'm made to study.

not the other way round, where i want to.

i know i need to,

and i know i will.

but, if you tell me to study at this and that time,

i don't think those studying will help.

while mum is feeling super insecure these days,

i'm not doing any better as well.

no one thought about how exactly.

a freaking 16 year old feels about all these shits.

i am your daughter yes.

but i ain't a robot for you to control 24/7.

i hate it when i feel fear looking at the clock.

i hate it when i feel fear at the sound of the door.

i hate it when i see missed calls on my phone when i'm out.

when must i fear.

why am i so conquered by your words.

why can't i do what i freaking like.

Saturday, December 06, 2008

i am a superfox.

don't ask me what it means :D

you need to have what it takes to understand it.

{ HONGKONG; Ping Shan }

( Singers for Nihua's Wedding )

suppression can be deadly.

i swear its deadly.

coz it only puts you off for a while.

someday, the things that you suppressed will come back.

for sure, it'll come back.

i woke up right after a 5 seconds long dream.

that dream was enough to test me out.

hah. real weird and true. perfect honesty.

slack day today.

watched 4 episodes of canto drama

hooked on the phone for 2 hours.

then went on to read my Lit text.

dyed my right nails.

and i'm right here now.

dear sylvia,

i can't believe i scored 6/8 for the crossword.

sylvia, your dream about the book was awesomely great.

the book writes down ever single thing that i did,felt or thought.

my gosh.

i didn't want to read the book actually,

coz i thought i already was over it*.

but, once i started reading, everything came back.

HAH.

thank you xiao tong. you rock.

lots and lots and lots on my mind.

somethings bothering me big time,

and i dont know where and how to start with.

Thursday, December 04, 2008

exposures at its largest.

random pasta that i cooked (:

accapella singers for Nihua's wedding (:

that night was a blast!

the girl i hang out with the most this hols.

the bball blood flows flows flows.

:D love love.

SYLVIA, i'm seeing you tomorrow.

so excited! :D

I MISS ALL MY GIRLS! :(

got pulled out of bed at 9am,

with the question,

" do you want to go with me to send Sri to the Maid Agency,

for thumbprint and work permit? "

being asked at.

just imgaine my facial expression at that moment.

the ultimate blurry zonked out face.

i didn't want to stay home alone,

and lie to my mum that i studied.

so,

i went along :\\

mum's so much better now, well at least,

all the weird weird out of the world thoughts

that she used to have, are gone. ( for now)

bus-ed everywhere the whole day with mum.

coz we figured that purple line was so irritating.

one of the classic comment that mum made.

{ in the bus }

V: ( trying to watch the Synchronized Swimming on TVmobile)

Eh mummy, the women head in front is blocking me!

M: ( with her eyes closed, sleeping )

(in chinese) take the rubberband and shoot her lah!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

i tell you, i really laughed to myself for 15mins.

because she was sleeping, so i had no one to laugh with!

and mum's face was still so calm and sleepy.

oh my gosh. so damn funny!

kfc for dinner :D

i'm a happy unhealthy girl.

i'm going for a full body checkup in Jan!

$120 just to check yourself

how cool is that.

mum's doing it too, and hers was $320.

awesome :D

medical fees nowadays, enough to kill.

and and and!

the best part is we're going to do a stool test.

we have to give our stool samples to them.

try to picture that and go sleep.

coz you won't have any mood to do anything else.

i'm so tan now, all thanks to training :(

and also coz i'm vicki tan.

okay, not funny.

i'm serious! let me show you the ultimate photo.

UNEDITED okay.

i never colour it brown!

its real! i'm so sorry to show you my ugly feet.

BLACK AND WHITE, still can see!

the line. the tan line.

okay, i know my feet is small.

yes i know.

my ugly feet.

training tomorrow again!

i want every part of me to be tan, except my face.

please please please.

HAHHAH. i know i'm stupid.

its december,

and i have already started thinking about my birthday

hahahahahahahah.

i love birthdays, sometimes.

long long post today, i know.

my dreams seems so true to me now.

it seems so achievable now. i dont know why.

i want my first aid course.

i want my hosting camp.

i love my loves (:

As he begins to raise his voice

You lower yours and grant him one last choice

Drive until you lose the road

Or break with the ones you've followed

He will do one of two things

He will admit to everything

Or he'll say he's just not the same

And you'll begin to wonder why you came

{ How To Save A Life - The Script }

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

dear girls,

if you're reading this,

i really want to tell you that

I MISS YOU.

ADELA the stupid girl.

SYLVIA the lame girl.

JAIME the funny girl.

AISHA the laughing girl.

ESTELLE the ultimate girl.

SARAH the silly girl.

MARISA the just came back from Japan girl

I MISS MISS MISS YOU GIRLS!

please hang out soooon

probably, the happiest christmas ever.